2.08.2011

sigh: dead or alive

I can't help but feel the chill of the wind swallow me whole.
It shatters my core and leaves blisters in the body.
I don't bleed because my heart doesn't dare beat,
but instead, I cry and I cry and I cry.
The tears are endless and I'd like to think they'll stop,
but a lifetime of tears are hiding in the cracks of my heart.
these feelings won't go away long after you've gone.
and from heartbreak I've mended, but from you I haven't.
there is no heart to be broken.
you make it rain and you make shine.
you make it life and you make it death.
but I am not wanted dead or alive, am I?
I live in the shadows of the heavens above.
And as the wind pushes the heavens forward,
my tears drown me into the hell I've created.
And as you walk through the pearly gates,
I find myself homeless in the fires of hell.
I still smile though.
because you're in heaven.
And I cry because I am not there.
with you.
I am nowhere to you.
not even in hell.