sigh: the F words

friendship is fickle
and family, far.

faces a facade
and facts, forgettable.

flowers are fancy
and fun, feeble.

freedom, a fairy tale
and our future, fucked.

smile: haiku

Piano black and white
what colorful sounds you play
keep painting my ears

sigh: the waltz

and as the one, two, three begins to play
you and me, hand in hand begin to sway

your dress dances with my broken heart
and my shadow becomes your work of art

would you meet me in the dark without the stars above
and would you believe me if I told you that I was in love?

is this lake shallow enough for us to stand?
and if I asked you to dance, would you take my hand?

I wish that the nights would never end
because it takes a lifetime for heartbreak to mend.

but hand in hand and two smiles strong
maybe it wouldn't take so very long.

I'd ask, but you're never here and always there
so I only hope that my feelings are ones we share.

that if the heavens above forget I exist
you do the same, so I won't ever be missed.

Because this feeling of me, myself, and only I
are mine to be kept until I too slowly die.

And this is the waltz that you and I dance
if only you saw my heart when you once did glance.

sigh: dead or alive

I can't help but feel the chill of the wind swallow me whole.
It shatters my core and leaves blisters in the body.
I don't bleed because my heart doesn't dare beat,
but instead, I cry and I cry and I cry.
The tears are endless and I'd like to think they'll stop,
but a lifetime of tears are hiding in the cracks of my heart.
these feelings won't go away long after you've gone.
and from heartbreak I've mended, but from you I haven't.
there is no heart to be broken.
you make it rain and you make shine.
you make it life and you make it death.
but I am not wanted dead or alive, am I?
I live in the shadows of the heavens above.
And as the wind pushes the heavens forward,
my tears drown me into the hell I've created.
And as you walk through the pearly gates,
I find myself homeless in the fires of hell.
I still smile though.
because you're in heaven.
And I cry because I am not there.
with you.
I am nowhere to you.
not even in hell.

smile: Color Blind

Your mind is bright and your soul white.
Your eyes are black and your smiles grey.
Life tried to draw in between your lines,
But like a child too eager she covers the page;
Your life is drenched with color that I swear I can see.
Your smile the color of happiness.
Your laughter the color of love.
Nothing so beautiful can be black and white.
And you –
Well I wish you were the color of my Heart.