sigh: effort

the silhouette of a mountain
like a drawing in the sky
with crayons the color of sunrise
from the seat of my bicycle
with the wind in my hair
and tears in my eyes
i move my legs
my body
my mind
and my soul
all for nothing.

smile: love is

love is:

to hope when we're together
and to dream when we're apart

to walk when we're close
and to run when we're far

to sing when we're sad
and to cry when we're happy

to forget when we give
and to remember when we take

to be honest when it hurts
and to care when it kills

to treasure when its given
and to give when its yours

to know when to ask
and to know when its love

smile: listen

Here I am, only fifty feet above the ground, but on top of the world.  The sea salt dances with the air and the smell causes my childhood to come crashing down on the shores of my memory.  I gaze off towards the horizon and smile as the ocean hugs a blushing sky.  What a beautiful romance.  A warm breeze that hums a melody finds my ears and whispers that spring is on the way.  And then there is George.

I wonder if George notices that he is standing right next to me; I can feel his body heat.  I am wearing my usual outfit – a wife beater with basketball shorts.  George is wearing his Sunday best.  His yellow checkered shirt is neatly tucked into his brown dress pants.  And his tie is a soft blue that seems like it was dipped into the ocean.

George knows he is standing next to someone because he begins to talk:

“I used to come here every day.”

“We would make bonfires right there on the beach”, he points to a spot on the shore beyond the no trespassing sign.

I wonder how long George is going to talk.  I watch his wrinkled face while he tells me stories and I notice that his eyes close whenever he smiles.  He must be remembering his childhood.  George is old, and he said this might be his last visits to the beach – to his childhood.

“Thank you for listening” George smiles, but this time he keeps his eyes open so he can look at my face.

An hour has gone by since we first started talking and I hear George’s footsteps slowly fade as he makes his way down the spiral staircase.  I’d like to imagine that his smiles today were the same smiles he wore as a child.  And it’s too late now, but I wanted to tell him about my own adventures.  The adventure I was on right then and there, but I never opened my mouth.  It was George’s turn to talk, and it was my turn to listen.

Thank you George.  To heal, to learn, and to love is to listen.  

sigh: resonate

sometimes i hate life.
what an erratic symphony.
its melody ambiguous.
its pauses unnecessary.
its harmony selfish.
the notes stumble off the page
the chords scream at my face.
it only knows how to hate.
how to take.
and yet I resonate.
this is my key.
this is my melody.
this is my love.

George Lewes:

"we are not judicious in love; we do not select those whom we ought to love, but those whom we cannot help loving."

smile: lets

lets feel the grass between our toes.

running, running racing clouds

lets find the sunset that kisses our cheeks

waiting, waiting wishing together

lets catch the moonlight with our bodies
swinging, swinging sharing hands

lets watch the stars with our eyes

crying, crying counting tears

lets travel the world with our feet

walking, walking, willing forever

lets fall in love with our hearts

beating, beating blooming life.

rant: flour

pizza flour why do you elude me so?

me, that is poor and starving.

How Ive looked for you!

my efforts spoiled like my appetite.

Homeless lest you should grace my home.

devour my hunger and free my soul,

but have mercy upon my riches.

for you have squandered me once.

and left me with naught but rags to clean.

and so clean I will

but with my hunger I shall scream:

SHOW YOURSELF, GOD DAMN IT!