smile: 21.

the first day of my adulthood I was a child.
I love you God.
And I've maybe only loved you for one year of my life,
so I am still only one,
but I hope I grow older with you.

sigh: red balloon

If I had no heart,
I could finally love.
I would be sunshine that was only bright and never warm.
like a cold sunny day,
when the sunshine places her hands upon your cheeks,
but never kisses you goodbye.

but I do have a heart.
and it is a red balloon attached to a long white string.
the type of balloon a little girl might carry through a carnival.
a carnival with big bright lights and warm smells.
I'm glad because you held onto it as if it meant something.
almost as if the balloon was keeping you from floating away,
and not the other way around.

you let it go,
and there it went.
and there you stayed.
and here I am.

it took me forever to find that red balloon against the sunset.
and here I am.
me and my red balloon
with its white string coiled up like a snake on the floor,
and that red circle stuck against the ceiling moving back and forth,
unsure of what to do or where to go.